Therapeutic Family Dispute Resolution

One conceptualisation of the children of divorced parents is that they inhabit the space between the parents. Given the relationship between the parents has failed, that space between the parents is potentially a problematic space. How the child copes in that space is impacted by:

• The age of the child:
  - with younger children typically adapting to this potentially problematic space at a cost which is sometimes not obvious until the teenage years; and
  - with adolescents sometimes driven to prematurely define a new space of their own populated by peers and boy or girlfriends.
• The personality of the child, including his/her level of sensitivity and ability to express emotions versus acting them out or turning them inward;
• The frequency and practicalities of the child's movements from one side of that space (Mum's) to the other side of that space (Dad's);
• When with one parent, whether the child is given permission to maintain a loving mental representation of the other parent in his/her mind;
• The degree to which the child is used as a messenger or as ammunition traveling across enemy lines;
• The level of each parent's preoccupation with the separation and its aftermath, at the expense of having the mental space for the needs of the child, and whether the child has adopted a care-taking or peace-keeping role.

The goal of Therapeutic Family Dispute Resolution is to assist the parents refocus on the child's needs and to re-build a parental space between the parents: a space in which the child can live and feel safe and secure; a space that does not require the child to split his/her mind into a two compartmentalized spaces.

Therapeutic Family Dispute Resolution relies on bringing the extensive research on children of divorced families to bear on the particular situation in which the family now finds itself.

The process involves individual and joint sessions with the parents. more ...